I’m the Chief Sustainability Officer

It was January 1, 2026, the annual New Year’s Day party at my friend Dakota’s shoreline home in Madison. I had “enjoyed” a polar plunge at Cornfield Point with my sister-in-law earlier that morning. Quite possibly the coldest polar plunge in our 7 years of plunging.

I enjoy New Year’s Day parties at Dakota’s house. It is always a wonderful time with a diverse group of people featuring interesting conversations on topics current or otherwise.

I met a woman whom I had not met before at this party. (After going for years, you begin to get to know who attends regularly and you know the names and faces). The new woman introduced herself and she seemed nice enough. She told me she was attending the party though her partner was at home. I told her my husband was at home watching college football. We chatted about this and that and at some point, that inevitable question was posed. What do you do? I told her I was an attorney. She immediately chimed in, “I’m an attorney too by trade but not working in that capacity, I’m the Chief Sustainability Officer (let’s call her Nina) at [insert large cosmetic retailer]”.

Why is it that attorneys who are not acting in that capacity must always state that they are an attorney but not acting as such? Is it an insecurity? She told me that she loved her job as the Chief Sustainability Officer and yet and still she had to opine on how she was an attorney. Not only that, even though she is not acting as an attorney she told me how she will from time to time provide guidance as it relates to this cosmetic retailer’s legal matters including as they relate to privacy and cybersecurity. What?! Why?! If this is not your area of expertise, why are you opining. She told me that she regularly flags legal issues for review. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe if you are not hired as an attorney, you may not provide legal guidance despite the existence of your license to practice.

Nina continued to regale in her triumphs at the cosmetic giant. Tales of heroism to the point at which I thought I might be conversing with the prestigious Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I was hopeful we might steer away from the legal world and Nina’s incessant bragging about the work that she does in sustainability and the law.  We finally managed to do so only for Nina to switch to of all things, country clubs. I am not certain how we ended up on the topic of golf. I believe Nina inquired if I golfed and responded that I do. Nina golfs and she wanted to know where I lived and when I told her where she immediately asked if I had joined the local country club. No, I advised. We play at Lyman Orchards Golf Club – they have 3 courses – the Player Course, the Jones Course and the Apple 9. She was not familiar with Lyman’s but of course familiar with local country clubs even though she is not from the area and lives out of state.

Nina singing her own praises and sounding off on country clubs, in only the most positive of ways was jarring. I like Lyman Orchards Golf Club, and not for nothing but I wonder if Nina considered that to this day many country clubs would not be accepting of her and her same sex partner; nor would they be accepting of me as a person of color. Why was Nina obsessed with the local country clubs? I cannot tell you. I can only say: Bye, Felicia.

I do not have time for such people. Nina is one of those individuals that claims to be liberal, understanding, and caring, and maybe she is but she is also hell bent on besting anyone with whom she speaks. She asks, “how are you” and before you can answer she starts talking about herself. She’s the type to ask if you have any upcoming trips and if you mention that you do, she will of course have already been to wherever you are going and make countless recommendations about what you absolutely must or must not do. Nina is the type of person that makes comments about people’s finances as if it is acceptable to do so (I have a friend for Nina that lives here in CT; maybe I will introduce them – she loves to talk about people’s finances and laud her own – as with my hubs odd sandwich regiment I will save these anecdotes for another story).

In the interim here’s hoping Nina is not at next year’s party; or if she is, I can find a quiet corner to escape. I will let you know.

Sweet Dreams,

Ava   

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