Dear Mrs. Rogan

Dear Mrs. Rogan. No one wants your filing cabinets or your rusted outdoor table and chairs. First, there is no demand for filing cabinets. The last time I checked filing cabinets were not in need though do clarify if I am incorrect. Secondly, take the items to the transfer station. 

Why are we talking about filing cabinets and a rusty table and chairs, well let me share. 

I walk my dog Jozi every morning. As anyone in my family will tell you, we do 2 loops. The first loop we turn right out of the driveway. After the first loop, Jozi Mandela has breakfast and then we go for loop number 2, and we turn left out of the driveway. Because we do so many loops and because we take these loops every day, I am well versed in the neighborhood comings and goings. I see who has neat and tidy garbage on garbage pick up day; I see who leaves garbage behind, for example when it falls out of the garbage bin; and I see who leaves curbside items as “Free”. Enter Mrs. Rogan to the conversation. I only know her name is Mrs. Rogan because the “FREE” sign was on a piece of paper stating “From the desk of Mrs. Rogan”.

So it was on a cool weekday morning that Jozi and I encountered the filing cabinet with the FREE From the desk of Mrs. Rogan sign. The filing cabinet sat at the end of the driveway next to the mailbox. It was tan, 3 filing drawers and rusty. It’s been weeks and the filing cabinet is still there. I wonder why that is. Oh, I know, because no one wants it, Mrs. Rogan. Why not take the filing cabinet to the town transfer station or post it on Facebook Marketplace as FREE. No, not Mrs. Rogan. She presumes someone will come and get it. 

To add insult to injury, as Jozi and I completed our walk just a few days ago, Mrs. Rogan had added a small round iron table with a glass top and 2 chairs. They look like the type of table and chairs one might see at an old-fashioned ice cream shop, only the iron on the table and chairs is rusted and the chairs, well those chairs have no seats. So, my question is, if I were to take the rusty table and rusty chairs, exactly how would I sit. 

I know, I know, someone will take these chairs and the table and do something creative with them. Of course they will. I think it’s the presumption of Mrs. Rogan. This is the same Mrs. Rogan who, according to Bonnie who lives two doors down, committed insurance fraud by claiming her car was broken into and her Christian Louboutin shoes were stolen; though she could never provide any receipt evidencing purchase of such shoes. I’m not one to listen to gossip. Bonnie relayed all this one day when I was walking Jozi and I happened to see Bonnie out walking Jinxy. Bonnie stopped so that our dogs could exchange hellos and the next thing I knew, I was entangled in all sorts of neighborhood hearsay. 

I’ve seen Mrs. Rogan driving her huge white SUV and she guns it on a quiet suburban street for absolutely no reason, and she never waves, at least not to me.  It’s as if saying hello is beneath her. Did she commit insurance fraud? I have no idea.  I can only speak to the demonstration of her air of pretention; and the rusted out filing cabinet and table and chairs are just another example of her affectation.

Sweet Dreams, 

Ava

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